The ability to recognize an emotion as it “happens” is the key to your EQ. Developing self-awareness requires tuning in to your true feelings. If you evaluate your emotions, you can manage them. The major elements of self-awareness are:

  • Emotional awareness. Your ability to recognize your own emotions and their effects.

  • Self-confidence. Sureness about your self-worth and capabilities.

You often have little control over when you experience emotions. You can, however, have some say in how long an emotion will last by using a number of techniques including recasting a situation in a more positive light, taking a long walk and meditation or prayer. Self-regulation involves

  • Self-control. Managing disruptive impulses.

  • Trustworthiness. Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity.

  • Conscientiousness. Taking responsibility for your own performance.

  • Adaptability. Handling change with flexibility.

  • Innovation. Being open to new ideas.

To motivate yourself for any achievement requires clear goals and a positive attitude. Motivation is made up of:

  • Achievement drive. Your constant striving to improve or to meet a standard of excellence.

  • Commitment. Aligning with the goals of the group or organization.

  • Initiative. Readying yourself to act on opportunities.

  • Optimism. Pursuing goals persistently despite obstacles and setbacks.

The ability to recognize how people feel is important to success in your life and career. The more skillful you are at discerning the feelings behind others’ signals the better you can control the signals you send them. An empathetic person excels at:

  • Service orientation. Anticipating, recognizing and meeting clients’ needs.

  • Developing others. Sensing what others need to progress and bolstering their abilities.

  • Leveraging diversity. Cultivating opportunities through diverse people.

  • Political awareness. Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships.

  • Understanding others. Discerning the feelings behind the needs and wants of others.

The development of good interpersonal skills is paramount to success in your life and career. You must possess a high EQ to better understand, empathize and negotiate with other people. Among the most useful skills are:

  • Influence. Wielding effective persuasion tactics.

  • Communication. Sending clear messages.

  • Leadership. Inspiring and guiding groups and people.

  • Change catalyst. Initiating or managing change.

  • Conflict management. Understanding, negotiating and resolving disagreements.

  • Building bonds. Nurturing instrumental relationships.

  • Collaboration and cooperation. Working with others toward shared goals.

  • Team capabilities. Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.